I hold a strong view that human nature is highly playful and poetic, to say nothing of genius.  We may be trained to see learning in a mechanistic and dry way. Our understanding of learning may be that of going through the motions and taking linear notes at which we don’t want to look later on. The idea of learning is boxed in and passed on to the children: you go to school to learn, you learn in a tedious, painful way. But my English learning experience broke my box. I didn’t even know that I had it in me – the desire to learn and do it on my own, to zigzag along the corridors of possibilities, to find opportunities, to experience pleasure of Experience.

So I started to think about learning and how environment is part of it, the fabric into which learning is stitched. Or maybe the environment is stitched into the fabric of learning? It’s a matter of what we perceive to be a larger context: learning or environment? It’s a matter what we view as primary and secondary. Do we concentrate on the environment and let it determine the learning that we do, or are willing to venture outside because we want to learn and are we willing to see the environment as something malleable, something we can change, something flowing, something that changes its facets. Can we embrace that environment with our ever- expanding learning? I am willing to define myself as a learner. Am I? I am willing to take risks that that involves. Am I?

Sometimes you come to a point where you can clearly see that you have everything and nothing at the same time. You have everything in that you create through your natural creativity (which you might have to learn to do), and you have nothing in that all that you see and hold has been originated in you. So you learn to be okay having nothing, you learn to be okay having everything. You learn to be okay experiencing different emotional states. You learn to be okay experiencing different weather. One day the wind will chill you to the bone, and you will remember how miserable that feels, the next day the sun drowns in the blue pool of the sky, and you find yourself flying across the streets wondering if you had been transported to another planet. Things change. Learning is change. I choose to take my environment and integrate it in my learning, in my mind’s eye I picture it as kintsukoroi art – a golden vein throughout my cosmos.  I don’t choose to take my environment and limit my learning by its physical features. Physicality itself can morph. You are freer than you think. Freer to go where you want, and to reshape what you see. I feel that the golden sand on the beach in my town, and the flowing silk of the sea, is what I am made of. I can feel in a deeper way here. I enjoy my intuition singing in my skin. I enjoy the clean air carousing inside my body. I feel relaxation that this cleanliness brings. And then, when I let myself feel, in all intensity, I am transported and remade. I am made healthy again. I am more open, wildly open.  I lose my anxieties. I lose my everyday worries. There is clarity about what I have to do. My creative work. My gentleness.

Learning is creative in that you are free to connect with the thing you are learning in any way you want. You are a free seeker, what can be more exciting than that? What can be more than that? I am willing to see now that learning itself is both fragile and sturdy. I want to compare it to a flower, a beautiful sensitive flower with great survival skills, it can grow anywhere but it can only bloom in a warm supportive environment.

I see learning, I see people, like that. I want to be their environment. I want to be the helper who aids them in creating that sort of environment. I want to add emotional sunshine, I want to add ideas, I want to add possibilities. I want to create the kind of energy that supports that powerful, beautiful, flower of learning.

I have a confession to make. Much of my life I have been attracted to languages but I have never been a formal student of them – not much, in any case. There is a difference between being born in say, Moscow, and being born in the middle of nowhere with no decent schools around. However, no matter how bad it was, I did enjoy some of the time in that place – the time when I was taking endless walks, and the time I was learning how to swim – the two things that helped me discover I was an  autodidact always seeking for DIY methods when it comes to learning. I self-teach. That’s what I want the people I work with to be able to do. I have no interest in their becoming dependent on me.  I call the people I work with “my people”. One of them was especially quick in jumping on my wagon. The feature of my wagon is that I combine coaching with teaching, I have no interest in making them learn different kinds of fish. I want to talk globally, but that doesn’t mean we don’t pay attention to simple things – in fact, details and simple things are always interwoven into our sessions. The idea of the session is not to focus on the “learner” but to focus on the human. Humans are self-interested – you can only go right with “self” topics which is splendid because exploring the other person’s “self” is also self-exploration for me.  

What seriously excites me about this work is that I am exposing people (and myself) to new ideas and a different kind of thinking/feeling in general. I show them what’s possible and we don’t just brush past what we see, and look at the expressions used.  We discuss the why and the how of what we have seen.  I want to help my people focus on “more expanded” ways of living. Situations where people explore, express, and build on their creativity. I don’t make people do anything, nor tell them what to do – I work as an ambassador of expansion.

Container was created out of lack of presence.

Container is powerful energy that is carrying in itself the function of being there, and staying there. Since we live in a world that keeps changing and being unpredictable, things go unplanned, bizarre, break; it’s good to have some constancy. It’s one thing to have a room full of physical things gone awry, and quite another to have your relationships going sour.  Throughout my life, I have experienced lack of presence. Snippets of it now and then, but nothing consistent  – in the way that would help me be stable and  confident. The result of that unstable environment led to my being full of emotional experiences that (excuse my formality here) I did not know the nature of. Then I realized it was not even about my relationships. It was clear to me that I was on a personal, highly individualized (and a bit fucked) Journey.

It wasn’t what he’s said and done to me – he had his own Journey. So I stopped focusing on people being at the center of my life, and focused on me as the creator of my emotions. There was a lot of feeling to be done.  Up until that moment, I wrongly assumed I was a good feeler: after all, look, I was so emotional, sensitive to emotional stimuli, loving to explore depth. Yet, what I was doing with my emotions was to try to escape them – through analising, writing, thinking about their meaning, digging for their origin, anything but feeling them – which is being present. Now there are two levels of being present (and possibly more). One is that you just feel your emotions – let them be. You go meet them. You don’t abandon them. This emotional abandonment is rampant. Feeling emotions was difficult in this sort of way – feeling them at the same time identifying with them.  I decided to do it another way – to feel and be there at the same time. To greet and welcome the emotion, to let it create whatever resonance in my being, but at the same time, to be consciously present with this process of feeling – to be aware that I am welcoming the emotion because I am being present with myself because I am (maybe for the first time) not abandoning myself.

So I am healing emotional abandonment  through presence

Emotional abandonment is not just about emotions, it’s about the whole being. Emotional abandonment means you are no longer online with yourself – not listening, being present, understanding. The more I talk to people about their emotions the more I realize how much pure misunderstanding there exists. I am not saying I personally understand everything – but getting on this journey is the way to a better earth, I believe that. Many people I talk to aren’t even aware of this journey. It’s an autopilot life, with little or no presence.

So I started to think, how could I accumulate this “presence” thing. It’s not something you can touch or pick up. It’s an energetic experience. Of course, the sensitivity of certain people allows them to actually physically sense energies (and these sensitivities can be developed).

When you can generate the energy of presence, which is done through being with an emotional experience as opposed to abandoning it or distracting yourself from it, you are doing the “primary work” which is being present with yourself. This is nonnegotiable. Even if you don’t particularly love yourself, being present is a more neutral experience so it can be practiced more smoothly than self-love. Self-love can begin with presence.

When you generate presence with yourself, consciously amplify it.  Visualise it growing.

In a way, the container is there for security.  You can let it give you the presence experience and then put the presence energy into it to grow it much like a plant. However, the container is ultimately your creation so you can be present and grow presence without the container.

However, the container is a highly visual thing (and in a way physical thing, because it has physical properties) – that should be of help when working with presence.

Presence can be amplified through visualization of growing it (manually) or through putting it into the container (automatically). Container is a form which allows you to amplify the positive experiences and modify the negative ones.

Why should we even care about presence anyway?

Well, consider the emotionally chaotic world we live in.  The types of emotional addictions we are able to develop are genuinely frightening. Emotional addictions to people, which is terrible, to things, which is no fun, and even emotional addictions to emotions themselves: it’s  a horribly tangled mess.

So what do we do to escape this mess? Distractions. Substances. Food. Endless reading.

We want to avoid, say, feeling the unreciprocated in-love-ness. In other words, we don’t want to be present with that strange experience – sitting there, not abandoning ourselves? That’s a new one. Yet, when you allow the presence to be…without identifying with the emotion – just feel and know what you are doing (I am welcoming this emotion, I am with myself) – you remain whole, instead of dividing yourself into this part of me that has the emotion, that part of me which wants to escape it, which leads to your not even knowing what you are.

The point is don’t lose yourself.

Offering presence to yourself, you are offering freedom to yourself.

Freedom from distractions – now you don’t need to run and do/get somebody/something else. You are at peace with the reality as it (fucking) is.

The beauty of this freedom is that it unhooks you from other people. You no longer feel the need to be/have somebody. It’s okay, in other words. You experience oneness with yourself (because you support and acknowledge and allow yourself through presence instead of “kinda running away from it all”), and you might even realize…you are overflowing with so many interesting feeling experiences, possibilities, you have so much imagination capable of taking so many routes – you are so creative.

 

Much love, Anastasia 

 

 

While I was growing up, I knew nothing about emotional presence. I think that even my romantic attractions were mostly acts of hope on my part: hope to find someone who would be emotionally present with me.  I define emotional presence as complete acceptance and being there. When you can feel them being there. In the early years, learning happens through other people. The more emotionally present they are with us, the more we are then able to be emotionally present with ourselves.
I lived in emotional chaos which was becoming more intense. All my attempts to find a friend or a lover who would provide emotional presence, failed. The issue was compounded by my not knowing what it was I was looking for: Emotional presence. I believe that presence is inextricably part of emotional intelligence as a whole.
The container carries that function of presence within itself. It is always present for you and your emotional energy. You are always supported.
There are benefits to emotional presence.   If you are not given that during the early years it may prove hard  to learn it later on your own. That’s not an easy thing to be after all the years of getting yourself distracted. Distracted from yourself. From being present for yourself. In the early years you were shown the world in which your caretakers were distracted away from you, and so you felt you weren’t really there, and so you dismissed yourself. Afterwards, you spent years busy not being present for yourself: for what you feel. What’s going on. What energies you are dealing with. You have tried to distract yourself but the emotions are never fully off. The more you run, the more they intensify, the more you want to muffle them (or distract yourself from them).
Sad.
Emotional presence? Why is it so paramount? Why is it that I was breaking my neck to get some?
Emotional presence is a validating experience. Your emotions matter (all of a sudden). All your experiences matter. They are taken in by another person. You feel seen.  After such interactions (imagine what regular emotional presence could do for you) you feel peace. You feel warmth. You feel support. More importantly, you feel. Feeling these positive emotions which are the offshoot of someone’s being emotionally present with us, is pleasure.  We are less resistant to pleasure, so we allow ourselves to feel it unless we are feeling guilty for it which is something that we might be prone to avoid. Avoiding feeling is distraction from feeling.
Emotional presence is an infinity of gifts.  It also helps you feel that sneaky self-worth.  Without it, it’s easy to stay in that downward direction, slipping more and more into the illusion of the past. The past does not matter. It stopped. Finished. Finito. No need to equate yourself with it – if the people from way back when were not emotionally present with you, you can create emotional presence now.
Yes.

 

Friends,

The Universal Emotional container is an imagery technique used to improve your emotional health (to thrive).

I remember the morning I first became aware of the idea of it. It started with a spontaneous visualization upon waking. I saw the container, it was a tall membranous structure, twisting around. It was  capable of holding things – any amount of things. I felt that’s where I was holding my anxiety.  My anxiety can be an intense experience. I saw that if I could not only experience the depth of that anxiety, but also contain it in my consciousness, and make it worse (grow it) through focusing on it, then I had an emotional container.

I meditated on it and inquired into its purpose. It was a little bit like performing lab tests on the container – I wanted to get right down to its purpose, discover its structure, find out the reasons for its existence. I wanted to have all of the answers, but I could only recognize some of them. In life it’s beautiful when you practice patience and gentleness, because it provides nourishing environment for growth. Patience and gentleness allow an experience to unfold. Much like a seed growing within the nutritious influence of earth, sun-rays and rain, life happens organically.

The Universal Emotional Container is in your consciousness. For some people, it would mean inside themselves, for some outside. To unify all perspectives, I am using consciousness.

The container has several purposes:

First, it unifies the inside and outside into one experience of consciousness.

Second, you realize your tremendous ability to create.

The container is naturally your creation. Just by experiencing what you might deem negative emotion and by virtue of not running away from it, you come to actually experience the emotion, you allow it which is your learning experience. All learning is feeling experience.

Everything you want is feeling experience. You might ask why feeling is important (we are taught to “stuff it”). When you feel, you are becoming better at feeling, better at intuition, you are developing a bit of a compass for yourself. There is short and long-term pleasure, you always know which is better for you and how to get there through feeling your way to it.  Feelings can be overwhelming and multiple though, which is how emotional chaos is created.  You create the chaos – which is more often than not an unconscious thing. Creating the container was the result of my becoming conscious, it was a process – challenging, interesting, creative. My primary desire is to gift it to the world.

Third, the container grows emotion.

The container acts as an emotional incubator. The container’s membrane and the inside of the container provides the nourishing environment for emotional growth and transformation. The Container takes in energy and works with it. It adds in and then multiplies your positive experiences. It grows your expertise. It accelerates your movement towards your desires.  It is interested in your growth. Your joy is the container’s purpose.

Fourth, rather than separate energy into positive and negative, the container multiplies and enhances what you consider positivity.

It takes care of and tranforms,what you consider negativity. This way, the container is the manifestation of acceptance.

Fifth, since you only have one container into which you “put the energy to work”, you are left with a lot of (unobstructed) space.

The container holds your energy, while you are just there, enjoying the freshness of your de-cluttered consciousness. Since things are taken care of in the container, you are free to be creative and explore. You are  dis-identified from the emotional energy without leaving it behind – because you have taken care of it by letting it evolve in the emotional container.

The emotional container is a nourishing environment (without being stuffy or closed) which you may choose to use. All emotional energy is malleable energy attached yet now independent of yourself, because from a de-cluttered consciousness perspective, you are the fresh space, you are the clean outlook, you are the purity. You are freedom – without being tethered – creative freedom.  Create.

Notes on using The Universal Emotional Container.  

The UEC provides a unifying experience.

Ultimately, it’s a joyful experience, an emotional goodness container. It is a very transformative and beautiful environment. We present it in form of structure, because the physical parameters make it easier to conceptualise the container. We call it container because this way you are imagining something holding something else – something physical. In fact, the container is freedom. You keep the emotional energy free. Membrane is there so that there are no walls, there is freedom. It’s your desire and choice to put the emotional energy into the nourishing free space that has to be present in order to use the container. The container is infinite. Don’t be afraid to put things in. The container is wide. The container is made of energy too – it’s the kind of energy whose purpose is to nourish. Ultimately it’s the energy of love. By creating the container to work with your emotions, to multiply your positive experiences, and of course, optimize your life, your business, whatever it may be, you are connecting to the energy you have been looking for.

I will elaborate on the Container in my following blogs but here’s the quick guidelines on how to use it.

  1. Visualise the container ( first take a few deep breaths, relax)

  2. Visualise the energy/emotion you want to modify (grow or change)

  3. Visualise putting the energy/emotion into the container

  4. Decide how the container will modify it

  5. You can repeat the exercise regularly

  6. How do you feel before and after the visualisation?

 

Much love.